Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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