We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
