lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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