Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
