I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
