This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
