So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
and she was petting her beer can
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
