dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
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You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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