i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
