i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize