So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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