I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
