You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
