Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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