What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize