in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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