you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You took a bar mat shot.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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