i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
