the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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