You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
