my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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