It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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