so that wasnt chicken after all
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
