Your mouth is God's brothel.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
