Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
