Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
