Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
