She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize