Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Randomize
