I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I bet he comes in French.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this will be a night to untag.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
