Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So much Jack, so little girl.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
as a side note pls kill me
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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