I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
