i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize