Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
