the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
