we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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