The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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