I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
