You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
