***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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