Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
