My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
