Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
