He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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