oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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