The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
