I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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