im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
