After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
