it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
