I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
