can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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