Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize