just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
