so explain again why im purple
no
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
