Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
