see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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