you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
