im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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