He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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