I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
