And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
its not stalking. its research.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize